The Unofficial Rules of The Avengers
by Goddess Roman
Summary: Ever since the Avengers have moved in together, Nick Fury realized that he needed to set some rules. These are all of them so far that he has put together from several expierences with the new team.


**_Ever since the Avengers have moved in together, Nick Fury has learned very quickly that he would need to lay down some rules if they were going to be staying with each other. These are the rules that he has put together for them after some...experiences._**

 ** _AN: I figured that I'd write this after the recent release of Spiderman: Homecoming which I hope to see soon. :) I hope you enjoy this and let me know if you have any suggestions for more rules/if I should write down what happened that got this rule made in the chapters that are to come._**

 _Rule #1:_ _NEVER mention Gwen Stacey when Peter is around._

 _(Otherwise you're going to have to deal with Steve. Tony made this mistake once and reminded himself to never do it again.)_

 _Rule #2: If you see Clint watching CW's Supernatural, DO NOT interrupt him. _

_(Seriously, he is in love with the show and the last time a person walked in front of the TV or tried to talk to him, he almost shot an arrow at them.)_

 _Rule #3: Clint is also not to cosplay Dean Winchester for Halloween and throw salt at every child he sees wearing a ghost costume. _

_(Tony got multiple complaints from parents about this.)_

 _Rule #4: DO NOT let Scott giant size a spider. _

_(There was mass panic in the lobby because of this.)_

 _Rule #5: Lord of the Rings is not to be allowed at movie night anymore. _

_(Thor was not pleased that he kept being called Galadriel and neither was Clint pleased that he kept being called Legolas by Tony.)_

 _Rule #6: Do not use Steve's shield as a frisbee. _

_(Bruce ended up in the medical wing for about a week because of this.)_

 _Rule #7: Tony ESPECIALLY is not allowed to "poke" at Bruce. _

_(After he Hulked out by accident, there was at least 10,000 dollars in repairs.)_

 _Rule #8: Matthew Murdock and Clint Barton are not allowed to be in a room together. _

_(The chaos was so bad that no one can speak of it ever again.)_

 _Rule #9: Stop trying to build a time machine. _

_(A teenaged Scott as well as an adult Scott was not fun to handle.)_

 _Rule #10: Natasha and Clint are never allowed into the vents ever again. _

_(Everytime they came out from a hatch, Nick almost had a heart attack as well as everyone else.)_

 _Rule #11:_ _Sam is not allowed to partner up with Clint in laser tag._

 _(They were impossible to beat.)_

 _Rule #12:_ _Whenever it's Phil's turn to cook, don't ever insult his food or else you don't get any._

 _(Break this rule and the whole team will come after you.)_

 _Rule #13:_ _Bullying Peter is a very bad idea._

 _(Steve will probably break your nose if you even try to say anything negative to the kid.)_

 _Rule_ _#14:_ _When playing hide and seek, please try to refrain from using a metal detector to find Bucky._

 _(It's just not fair to him plus he'll probably find a way around it.)_

 _Rule #15:_ _When teaching Steve about technology, under no circumstances is YouTube allowed to be shown to him again._

 _(He thought Markiplier and Jacksepticeye was a literal couple and he shipped it and he even talked to Mark about it on Twitter.)_

 _Rule #16:_ _Natasha is not allowed to drop a spider on Tony as revenge._

 _(Tony had accidentally spilt coffee on her suit and this was the result.)_

 _Rule #17:_ _Tony is not allowed to try and build a TARDIS with Bruce and Thor's help._

 _(It was just chaos.)_

 _Rule #18:_ _When having a girls night out, Wanda, Natasha and Pepper are not allowed to watch The Lion King._

 _(Pepper cried just about the whole time.)_

 _Rule #19:_ _Do not interrupt Clint and Peter while they are watching anime._

 _(Someone decided to do this while they were watching the live premier of Attack on Titan: Season 2 and they were not happy about it.)_

 _Rule #20:_ _If you see someone that is not authorized to be up in the tower and has a team member with them or an ally of The Avengers, REPORT THEM IMMIDIANTLY._

 _(Scott has been kidnapped several times because of this as well as Peter.)_

 _Rule #21:_ _Wanda, and ONLY Wanda is allowed to handle breakfast._

 _(Everyone else who has tried to cook has ended up making a big mess in the kitchen.)_

 _Rule #22: Whenever Game of Thrones is on and Bucky come into the room, Tony is not allowed to shout "Winter is coming!"_

 _(Around the fifth time he has done this, Bucky almost punched Tony in the face to shut him up.)_

 _Rule #23:_ _Bringing a live goose into the tower is NOT funny._

 _(Seriously Tony, what the hell were you thinking?)_

 _Rule #24:_ _As well as a live Alpaca._

 _(Again Tony, what the hell were you thinking?)_

 _Rule #25:_ _Thor is not allowed to watch Sherlock._

 _(After the Reichenbach Fall, he started thinking about Loki more often.)_

 _Rule #26:_ _Don't ever insult Sam in front of Clint._

 _(The last guy who tried to do this ended up in "falling" into dumpster several times.)_

 _Rule #27: Tony is not allowed to buy the Dorito's company just so that he can get Steve on a bag. _

_(Tony that joke died out long ago.)_

 _Rule #28:_ _Tony is not allowed to play "Imperial March" whenever Nick Fury walks down a hallway with SHIELD agents near him._

 _(Breaking this rule will result in a week of no Scfi movies for EVERYONE.)_

 _Rule #29:_ _Tony is also not allowed to call Bruce "Dr. McCoy" or "Bones"._

 _(Seriously Tony, how much Star Trek have you been watching?)_

 _Rule #30:_ _Hurting a team member will result in anger from all the others and this is strongly advised against to do._

 _(The last person who angered the team by hurting one of their own badly, didn't last long.)_

 ** _These are so far all of the rules that Nick Fury has placed down. Faliure to obey these rules will result in severe consequences..._**


End file.
